This post was originally written by the author for her personal blog, Mrs. Broccoli Guy, in September 2006, and is reposted here for historical context as well as to hopefully provide guidance to future adoptive parents.
I’ve been struggling for the last day or so to figure out how to do this post. It’s clear to me that many people new to the world of international adoptions really don’t understand why it isn’t preferable to have a fast referral of a young baby with quick travel. On the surface, it seems like that would be the ideal adoption and that any agency who can deliver those things is an agency that knows what its doing and should have families flocking to them. So what is my problem? Why do I have to be such a stick in the mud and make such a ruckus about it?
The short answer is, I’ve seen and heard too much. Some of what I’ve heard happened in Cambodia, some in Vietnam ”“ and some in other countries. What I’ve learned is that unfortunately adoption is a business and there are too many unscrupulous people who will take advantage of naive, eager people who only want to give a child a loving home. But let’s stop talking in such vague terms. Let’s dare to say what needs to be said.
Not all children come to orphanages because they truly need a family.
Orphanages benefit from international adoptions ”“ either because they receive humanitarian aid which benefits the children left behind, or because an American agency buys the director a shiny new car. (and no, I did not make that up) So the incentive is there for orphanages to “find young babies.
In Cambodia this sometimes meant sending a representative out to the villages to spread the word that a family could get money, or rice, or other rewards for relinquishing a child. Other times no “reward was offered, but they would post advertisements filled with pictures of children adopted to America living happy (rich) American lives and telling the families that the children would return one day or send for their birth family to come live in America. Sometimes well-meaning adoptive families seek to “give back to the birthfamily by building them a new house or sending them gifts or money. Other people in the village may see this as an incentive to relinquish their own child.
I personally don’t believe this kind of thing only happened in Cambodia.
Regardless of how a child comes to be in the care of an orphange, the question is what the orphanages (and agencies) do next. Do they look for any birth family if the child was abandoned? Do they work to reunify the family if birthfamily is known? Do they make any efforts to place the child with a Vietnamese family? It’s too easy to dismiss these questions by saying that the birth family is too poor to keep their child or the Vietnamese don’t believe in adoption. The truth is with just a little help, counseling or encouragement some families could stay intact. And there are Vietnamese families who might consider adopting, if they knew it was an option. But how much effort can an orphanage or agency possibly be making if they are releasing babies for international adoption at 5 weeks old? Playing the devil’s advocate here, what if a baby was removed from their family by dishonest means (coersion, promises to care for the child in the city”¦) and taken to another province? Would five weeks be enough time for that family to track their child down? Or what if a woman panics after giving birth at the hospital and abandons her baby there? Isn’t it possible that if she were tracked down and counseled she might in fact be able to parent her baby ”“ or at least properly relinquish the child? Is five weeks enough time for that to happen?
Given that some agencies are clearly not concerned about looking at any alternatives to international adoption, it also appears they are eager to get the child’s paperwork through the process as quickly as possible without any time for scrutiny. As I’ve said before, it is well known that some agencies are willing to pay extra “unpublished fees in order to get their paperwork expedited. Why? Why are they paying extra to get the paperwork through faster if there is nothing to hide?
Obviously the less time a child is in institutional care, the better. And eager PAP’s practically beg their agencies to get things done as fast as possible. So there is a lot of pressure on agencies to look for corners to cut. But this is where an agency needs to stand up and do what is right, not what is popular. If they are concerned about the children’s health and care, they should invest more humanitarian aide. Pay for additional staff or training. Supply good formula and food. Send a doctor to check on the children once a week. But whatever they do, it should be out in the open and it should be clear that humanitarian support is not dependent on getting the most/best referrals.
I really think it is time for prospective adoptive parents to take some responsibility. Ignorance is no excuse. As much as we want to love our agencies because they are “giving us a child, we need to remember they are first and foremost a business and we need to hold them accountable for their actions.
Here’s a place to start if you want to do more research:
First, watch this presentation given by the case agent for Operation Broken Hearts, the investigation into Cambodian adoptions. (scroll to the bottom of the page for links to the video or transcript)
Next, read this article from USNews about issues in Vietnam adoptions before the shutdown.
Let me make myself very clear: Much has been done to improve adoptions in Vietnam. I fully believe the system has been built to be ethical and protect children and birthfamilies. I also believe there are a number of good ethical agencies working in Vietnam who truly seek to find loving families for children. But there will always be people looking to get around the system in order to make a fast buck. It is up to us to keep that from happening.
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